No, just no

As I write about this, I feel like Grandpa Simpson

There’s little I can do about it but I don’t have to like it!

I never thought I’d ever say no to pizza but here I am.

Growing up, I never drank coffee. I do have memories of a friend who would grab a quick coffee with hot water from the tap and a spoon of instant coffee though. <Yuk> Mom and Dad were coffee drinkers and I learned a bit of the fine art of making the best of coffee – for them – when I was young.

It wasn’t until I got to university that I realized the power of coffee when you’re pulling an all-nighter debugging programs for class. I started with cream and sugar, backed off to just plain cream, and finally just drink it black as I am right now. The coffee came from one of those giant dispensers where you’d pour yourself and pay the quarter or whatever for the right to drink it.

A real treat at the time was to go to one of the two or three Tim Hortons downtown. You’d walk in, grab a coffee and perhaps treat yourself to a doughnut. My favourite was the Maple Dip.

That was the full coffee experience. Period.

As we know, that has really changed. Now, Tim Hortons has “modern” management and work hard to be all things to all people, it seems. In a world of double-lane drive-throughs, the person who parks, walks, in and orders is the outlier. At times, it’s difficult to even get served as the attention is given to those at the drive-up window.

In theory, it should be good. Order a coffee and a Maple Dip and be on your way in seconds. It’s no longer like that. The menu seems to change weekly. Sandwiches, soups, and a myriad of combinations for hot and cold beverages makes getting a coffee anything but a quick in and out. How many times have you been caught in a long lineup while the person ahead of you, er people ahead of you, all have their own custom orders.

Our local shop is at one end of a strip mall and the drive-through goes down the side, across the back, up the other side, and down the street which is out major north/south road. It goes even further when they’re busy. It got so bad they posted no stopping signs on the road – like that worked.. With the price of gas, you could go through quite a bit idling in line; it made McDonald’s or a local coffee shop our go-to place. The only Tim Hortons that seems to get it right is our two stops as we head east – at the ONRoutes in Tilbury and Dutton. Even without drive-throughs, they have a routine that gets your order filled quickly and they’ll ask you to step aside if it’s going to take a while. Ah, I could go on with another set of clouds.

Then, now I read, they’re experimenting with pizza.

Tim Hortons is now serving pizza at select GTA locations

Seriously?

I can tell you that ordering pizza from a pizzeria in town is a major undertaking here. So many different options; and everyone has their own preference. If there’s a good thing to gather from the article, it’s that they’re only experimenting with three different types of pizza. Will pineapple be one of the toppings?

I just worry that by taking the time to cook these things will make the lineups for service even longer and slower. But then, if you’re in line waiting anyway, maybe it will be already cooling off by the time you get there. There will be those who will want to drive and eat at the same time. That won’t end well.

Maybe it’s because we have some of the best pizza in the world in Essex County. I don’t see myself grabbing pizza at a Tim Hortons any time soon. But, if they want to be heroes in my eyes, make the Maple Dip doughnut available again.

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