Response to Spammers

I like the fact that this blog is protected by Akismet.  It keeps most of the silly comments from spammers away from you.  These comments end up in a queue in the dashboard that lets me review them just in case a good comment gets trapped.  Usually, I just go in and blow them away.  As you can see from the volume, if I had to do this manually, I’d be a very busy person.

akismet

But, periodically, I will take a look at the comments – maybe from boredom but mostly for amusement.  As I’ve done in the past, I thought I’d share a few today.

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Hey there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok. I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog
and look forward to new posts.

Yes, I’ve heard of Twitter.  Where do I click to give you permission?

Hello, Neat post. There’s a problem along with your site in internet explorer, might test this? IE still is the market chief and a good element of folks will leave out your fantastic writing because of this problem.

Caught red-handed.  I specifically write posts and have chosen WordPress for my host because it is Internet Explorer hostile.

Proposal happens to be certainly really are a sign which a a number of will probably be tied up inside the everlasting bond to be with every other. It contains a lot of meaning three stone engagement rings in the couple’s lifetime since it signifies the start of any marriage complete of each unconditional enjoy and togetherness.

If I’d proposed like that, I’d still be single.

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Even Google Translate has no idea what this means – Tarot Free online issue erotica astrology natal chart

thank you for share!

You’re welcome.  What a nice young spammer.

Hello, just wanted to tell you, I enjoyed this article.
It was funny. Keep on posting!

That really hurt.  I spent hours researching the facts and did my academic best.

Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you present here and can’t wait
to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at how fast your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even
using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, excellent blog!

My lifelong goal has always been to amuse the bored in Colorado.

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at

That’s four minutes that I’d rather allocate to doing something else.  SEO takes all the fun out of the web.

illustrious look at this website

I’m not sure “illustrious” was the word you were looking for.

honest mouse click the next internet page

A dishonest mouse clicks the previous internet page?

I’m no longer certain where you are getting your information, but good topic. I must spend a while finding out more or figuring out more. Thanks for great info I used to be searching for this information for my mission.

I just make this stuff up.  Now you know!

thanks for share!

Oh, back again?  Thanks for continuing to be so polite.

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My apologies to my regular readers for wasting your time today!


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4 thoughts on “Response to Spammers

  1. Not a waste of my time… I needed this chuckle and your company in some of the same misery :)
    Ok… going to waste your time with a few of my “gems”…

    A very collaborative spammer: “I love to disseminate understanding that will I’ve accumulated with the yr to assist improve group performance.”

    and….

    “Excellent confident synthetic eyesight just for details and can foresee problems just before they happen.”

    Yeah, people have said that about me before….. lol

    Thanks, Doug!

    PS I hope this comment doesn’t marked as spam with all the nonsense phrases :)

    Like

  2. Please, no apologies, as this was hilarious and just what I needed at this moment in time today !! I am tickled at the idea of being tossed into the spam queue myself. I don’t really understand how Akismet works, and in all honesty, I don’t understand why people spam in the first place ? I’m imaging it may provide them some relevance in social networks and such, but I will have to look into the real reason why it is such a nuisance. Anyway, I’m a relatively new follower who just wanted to tell you I appreciate the diversity and quality of informational sources you share. I’ve found it to be such a unique asset for expanding my overall knowledge base and library of bookmarked resources. My brain signals curiosity, excitement, and pleasure whenever I see a blog post coming up next in my email list. No matter how busy I am I can’t just delete it without opening and reading, as I’m sure I do to many other good blog posts just because time has to dictate. I am acutely aware I just might miss something really good and pertinent in my quest for knowledge. My image of you is one of someone who is engaging, bright, educated, well versed on technology and information gathering, and now I have to add witty/ humorous to the list. For all that I just want to say thank-you !! Kristen

    Like

  3. I love these posts. Seriously. However, I find it interesting that you have such thoughtful spammers. Mine just seem to think I want to buy Michael Jordan sneakers, Michael Kors (I have no idea who or what that is), and improve my SEO. What does that say about me?

    Like

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